I replaced porch railings yesterday. Yes, when I’m not writing fiction, I like to break out the occasional power tool and pretend I’m Bob Vila. You know you’ve got it bad when HGTV, TOH, and BHG are abbreviations that all make sense to you.
But I have to warn you. Those shows lull you into a false sense of proficiency. The New Yankee makes every joint come together with precision. Candace Olson has Chico and Paul, and Bob Vila is following the work of master carpenters – people who do this thing for a living... and are really good at it!
So what if I cut twice and measure once? I console myself with the questions, “I wonder how many ‘takes’ it took Dean Johnson to miter those flush corners? How many digits have been lost to the chop saw behind the scenes?”
I’ll get back to volunteering for set-builds at the local community theater in the relatively near future where I can get my Bob Vila freak on. Until then, I’ll be a master carpenter – vicariously – and dream about porch railings designed by Candace Olson, built by Norm Abram, and painted by Paul Daly. The teen sitting across the table from me just said, "no one reading this is gonna know who those people are." Ha ha ha. She's funny. She likes to mess with me. Someone who doesn't know who Norm Abram is? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.. Stop messin' with me, you goofy kid.