Nov 16, 2012

BREAKING DAWN 2: The Fans are Half the Fun!



I just love a preview - late at night, a day before the movie comes out for the rest of the world - because the fans who buy their tickets a month in advance to arrive at a movie an hour before it begins - those are committed fans and they're more fun than any other kind of audience!

They applaud for the opening credits. Their applause is equal to the crush on the screen, with titters thrown in when no one applauds for the female protagonist. Sorry, Kristin. They applaud for the closing credits,...

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... they applaud for the montage at the end...

But the other thing about rabid fans is, they know their Twilight, so ...

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... they take exception to any diversion from the original book. And this audience gasped, they cried out in anguish, they applauded when that "biotch" got her butt kicked (and, incidentally, her head ripped off). Just understand, you run the risk of a riot when a room of 200 hormone driven, adrenalin pumpin' girls get the rug ripped out from under them. Don't get me wrong, I thought it was brilliant! and I loved the crowd's reaction. It's not often that a move or book catches me off guard. I can usually see author intent like a big ol' heavy mallet, but just when I was trying to figure out how the screenplay writers were gonna pull that out of a tail spin, they gave my cocky butt an ass woopin'. The addition was brilliant and it only enhanced the story.

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Of course, I thought the Amazonian vampire was creating the illusion, which you will understand after you watch the movie, but the writers' solution was FAR better. Brilliant. Just brilliant. (But no, I won't spoil THAT much.)

But now for my dislikes. Please movie writer people, when a romantic arc terminates, any voyeurism into their romantic lives is just that. It's gratuitous. It made all of the girls sitting around me feel creepy. It made me feel creepy. You could feel the cringes as girls who are uncomfortable and (hopefully) unfamiliar with that level of intimacy, watch it, not as part of their favorite characters' romantic voyage. When it occurs on the big screen with no purpose other than to remind the viewer that the characters are married now and dont' have to tip-toe around that particular topic, sorry, but it's just a gratuitious sex scene. Would you throw that into a Bourne Legacy? Would you throw that into any other action/adventure/drama? Well, if you did, it would be for the male audience. It detracts from the story, ratcheting down the tension.

And don't get me started on CGI- effects. Ugh. Just don't do that to a baby's face. You know, any child that looked up at its mother with that face would have been left to freeze on a mountain top. Okay, it's a really cute kid, but don't mess with the cute. We get it - you'd have to use a different actor-baby-person for the rapid aging, but, dudes, we can handle it. Heck, we've already suspended our belief to believe in a romantic blood sucking immortal. Just... don't. Didn't you learn your lesson with those wolves in the second and third movies? Guess not.

Okay, I'm done raggin' on the movie. The "Final Battle" was totally worth any bad CG and gratuitious sex. And that cottage? Straight out of a Thomas Kincaid painting. You were totally going for that, weren't you?

Now, sleep... must have sleep. It's 1:17 in the morning - Friday morning - when the rest of the fans, the not nearly as much fun fans - will get to see Twilight's Breaking Dawn 2 - by waiting in a line at the ticket booth like any other impulse movie goer. And I feel a little bit sad for you.

In case you didn't know, Sofie Couch writes YA paranormal, (yeah, like that Twilight thing,) only, honestly, no one does sparkly like Edward does sparkly. See those covers over there? Those on the right side of the screen? Click it. Start with MOONSHINE. Go ahead. Click it. Then come back for ANGELS UNAWARES. There's a romantic aaaaarc.
"Who's your Daddy?... and where is he buried?" - MOONSHINE
"The Grim Reaper can kill with a touch....Too bad for the girl he loves." - ANGELS UNAWARES.

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