10 Responses to the “Oh, you SELF-publish” Like it’s a Bad Thing Comment

(Permission to reprint in tandem with proper attribution:
© 2010 Sofie Couch; www.sofiecouch.com.)

1. Yes! Ever since the latest reviews, I’m all sold out of the hard copies, but here, take this coupon for a free download of the electronic version!

2. Shhhh, (looking around surreptitiously,) I’m in disguise, hiding from my fans. Do you wanna start a riot? If I have to autograph one more book today….

3. Not at all. There is a knot of tiny elves who live in a hollow oak tree and when they’re not drizzling chocolate on cookies, they’re editing, copy editing and typesetting my novels for publication. THAT’s why the original manuscript is tinged with chocolate, coffee stains, sweat, blood….

4. Yeah! It’s a really great mode of publishing. I can run my business as a democratic business model whereby the employees are paid based on an equitable distribution of labor to profit ratio!

5. Yes. My spouse wanted to quit his day job too, so I decided to self-publish instead of going the unprofitable route.

6. (Taking on an “aw-shucks-‘tweren’t-nothin’” attitude,) I know. I know. Guttenberg was ahead of his time too. (Shrug and walk away while they’re still trying to figure it out.)

7. I used to rudely denigrate self-publishing too. Then I started earning royalties.

8. I’m just humbly trying to follow in the footsteps of some of the literary greats: (fill in the blank with your favorite best-selling, self-published authors.)

9. (Perfect a quivery bottom lip.) My ninety year old grandfather… learned to read… because I wrote and self-published a book… just for him. (Point to dedication page – they don’t know the name of your grandfather. They don’t even know you don’t have a ninety year old grandfather.)

And Finally...
10. No, no, no. Not at all. Well, yes, I plot by myself. I write a first draft by myself. I re-write by myself – about a dozen times. I edit by myself, but then I enlist the help of a lot of people who are smarter than me to edit. I format the book by myself, I provide employment for an artist skilled in cover design. I win awards with the concensus of some very discerning judges. And I reach thousands of readers – and THAT is NOT by myself.


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